That time Tim tried out for Mensa

“We need someone to mock at our next Mensa dinner. Interested in taking our test?”

With that, a friend, who is a decades-long member of the fraternity for the Top 2% most-intelligent people in the world, conned – err, “recruited” – me to take the Mensa entrance exam.

Actually, each October, the organization invites members of the media to take the test and then hopefully write about it. I thought about pitching the idea to some of my editors, but quickly realized I’d only confirm my stupidity to hundreds of thousands of readers across the country, maybe even the world in some cases. So, I decided to author the article for the blog, where maybe “only” 10,000 or so will laugh at me.

I sent in my $30 (half off the usual testing price in October). My test was scheduled for a warm October Saturday morning.

There were only three of us inside a meeting room at a law firm in Omaha’s upscale Regency neighborhood – a Mensa candidate, the test proctor and me.

Test time

Two tests were administered. The first was the Wonderlic, an IQ exam administered to several people. Still, I recognized it as given to professional football hopefuls as part of the National Football League’s draft process. This stood out to me, as I’ve read articles about players receiving seriously low scores.

I feared what my test score would be. Good news/bad news: Since test scores can be mentally challenging, test participants don’t learn what their scores are. I guess that is a good thing, but my psyche is fragile enough, so what’s one more negative dump?

The second test was the major one. The one that would determine if I were in the Top 2% of the world in intelligence.

The Reynolds Adaptable Intelligence Test (RAIT) is a timed intelligence assessment for individuals aged 10–75. It measures crystallized, fluid, and quantitative intelligence through seven subtests, including general knowledge and word opposites.

I thought I did better than I expected with math questions, until…the dreaded shapes. A series of images with a variety of shapes threw my brain into No Man’s Land. I’ve heard monkeys can easily pass this test. No wonder they’re going to take over the planet. (I had to get a Planet of the Apes reference in here)

The seven subtests consisted of a variety of timed subjects. Each test took 7 or 10 minutes. As the first subtest time was completed, I noticed my fellow test taker was about 10 questions ahead of me. It was then that it dawned on me that this wasn’t going to end well for me.

In my defense, it’s probably been 20 years since I’ve taken a standardized test. My co-tester was young enough that she probably took one the day before.

Regardless, I survived the experience. The last subtest was completed and I turned in everything to the proctor.

“You should get your results in two or three weeks,” she said. She may have snickered after glancing at my answer sheet. I wouldn’t blame her.

While Mensa will not share the test score, I could request my therapist to send in the results. For a nominal fee to the Mensa organization.

Decision day

Two weeks after the exam date, an email arrived from Mensa. It was decision day! I felt like a medical student, anticipating which hospital I was going to get assigned to for my residency.

Dear Village Idiot, it began (at least in my mind, it said that)…

“Thank you for taking the Mensa Admission Test. Many try their hand at our qualifying exam, but only a fraction — those who score at or above the top 2 percent of the population — qualify for Mensa membership. Based on your scores, we unfortunately cannot offer you membership at this time.”

Well, good thing I went in with zero expectations of passing. At least, I got a story.

I was helping a friend navigate newspapers.com one day and showed her how to find information. I used myself as a research guinea pig. I found an article where I had made the honor roll (once) at Fremont Senior High School. So, I have that going for me.

While I didn’t qualify to join Mensa, testing was an interesting experience. I’ve enjoyed meeting local members. If invited or interested, I encourage people to go through the process.

Mensa is a worthwhile fraternity of intelligent people. The United States has the largest number of Mensa members, with 57,000, ages 2 to 102. In Nebraska, a 9-year-old Elkhorn child is the youngest to join the Nebraska/Western Iowa Chapter.

Mensa members have IQs between 132 and 162. They’re the people you’ll find on “Jeopardy.” I’m among the ones you’ll find on “The Weakest Link.”