Elf: Helping the Trudells have a Happy Holiday

Elf on the Shelf
I refuse to cross to the Dark Side. Santa would not appreciate it.

BY Peter Elf

Wow! A whole year has passed since last Christmas, huh? Wowza. I can’t believe these two yahoos made it through the year being nice. Well, I can that Tim fella. After all, he did save my life when That Lisa lady tried to kill me in Wichita. Yeah, it’s difficult to let that go (I’m looking at you lady!).

Anyway, Lisa tried to make it up to me. We agreed to try to be civil toward one another. She planned to take me on a trip to Minnesota. We were going to visit a place call Mall of America and stay at a fancy hotel, called Radisson Blu. I even got a new coat for the trip. But, the weather took a turn for the worst and we stayed in Omaha. She was not happy.

Lisa and Tim then took me to the state’s capital, where I looked forward to meeting President Lincoln. Tim had to explain to me that the city was named after the greatest president in American history. I was a little bummed. But, I got over it. Starbucks can make everyone feel better. Did you know they have red cups this season?

Elf on the Shelf
Kennard house

We toured the Thomas Kennard House for its holiday decorations. Tim told me his hometown of Kennard was named after the dude. I was soooo excited to visit Kennard, too. The decorations were very pretty.

We walked to the state capitol building to see the official Christmas tree of Nebraska. Nice.

Elf on the Shelf
Capitol tree

The Governor’s Mansion was also decorated for the holiday. I had my fill of holiday spirit that weekend, for sure. I got to meet the Governor of Nebraska. His name is Pete, too.

Elf on the Shelf
The Governor, Lisa and me

So, Tim wanted to relive a childhood memory (not the one where he and his cousin found the Rock ‘em Sock ‘em Robots under his parents’ bed and played with it before the holiday). It’s funny how parents know when kids do things, because they tricked him that year by regifting one of his toys to him. He eventually got the boxing robots, but he learned a valuable lesson.

Instead, the memory he wanted to relive was driving to area communities near Oakland, where they lived for about five years. We drove through 10 communities one evening, checking out the main street lights and decorations. We visited Oakland, Blair, Tekamah, Fremont, West Point, Scribner, Hooper, Arlington, Herman and Kennard. Yeah, about Kennard… You’d think a place named after a government bigwig would be a major city, but 300 people later, it was a quick drive through his hometown.

Elf on the Shelf
Tim’s hometown

I tried a burger at Stella’s in Bellevue. It is the best in Nebraska. I think Santa has eaten here…several times.

Elf on the Shelf
Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom

Tim and Lisa’s youngest daughter, Mallory, moved to Seattle a few months ago. So, Tim planned to spend the holiday with her. I got to tag along. Seattle is what I would call a huge place. It has a Space Needle. Not sure it looks like a needle, but still.

I met a new friend, Abraham the Mensch. He seems to be the Jewish version of something called Elf on the Shelf. Interesting. I may have to check into what an Elf on a Shelf is. I’ve sat on shelves before, so it must be a cool thing.

Elf on the shelf
My new friend Abraham and I bonded over lattes at Starbuck’s “Ground Zero” in Seattle

While I arrived in Seattle too late to help Abraham celebrate Hanukkah, Abraham told me he’d teach me about the holiday and its customs and traditions next year. In return, I get to teach him about the Christmas holiday. I am sooo excited.

Elf on the Shelf
We enjoyed a ride on the Great Wheel while touring Seattle

So, as Christmas 2015 arrives, I am off to the North Pole to report that all of the Trudells were good in 2015 and deserve Santa Claus gifts (though they already knew that since they opened their gifts before Tim traveled to Seattle).

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone! Talk to you in 2016.